Comic Books That Are A Cut Above
A Message from publisher B. Barry Horst, President and CEO of Hermeneutic Press
Welcome to the Hermeneutic Press website, home of the world's most luxurious comic books.
We don't just make comics. We make experiences.
We sell only to the most discerning comic book connoisseurs.
That is our audience.
You'll find our products in the poshest homes and lavatory reading bins of the Hamptons. The studies of Oxford. The living rooms of Bel Air. Safe needle sites. We are there on the cutting edge of culture. Everywhere people are living life to the fullest you will find pitch perfect Hermeneutic Press products.
We start with the finest of materials. Paper from Japan. Hand crafted staples from Frankfurt. Inks from around the world: rich blacks from Mediterranean Octopi; soft, delicate pinks from crushed roses; sumptuous dark reds from the heroin saturated blood of rock stars.
Only the best will do for our readers. We stop at nothing to provide the very best.
The Seaweed Advantage
All our comics contain twenty per cent seaweed. That's right: seaweed. The miracle plant from the ocean. We use only premium seaweed dredged from the Caspian Sea by sun tanned Caucasians. The extra fiber this provides allows a higher thread count, and adds an astonishing softness to the paper, which makes the Hermeneutic comic experience especially tactile and pleasurable. Even sensual. For some, it escalates into an intense sexual thrill whenever they pick up a Hermeneutic publication.
Caspian seaweed is the secret.
When in contact with human skin, it triggers the patented Hermeneutiffect: a measurable endorphin release. There simply is no softer, more ethereal comic book paper out there. Go ahead. Touch it. We're confident you'll agree.
The seaweed also helps improve circulation in the reader and removes carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases from the atmosphere, creating a hyper-oxygenated bubble around the comic. Reading a large number of Hermeneutic products can lead to a euphoric state. Smoking, however, can be hazardous.
Softer paper. Better circulation. Cleaner air. Intense sexual pleasure.
That's a value added comic book experience.
But that's just the beginning.
Every issue we publish is impregnated with the finest quality ideas we can find from around the world.
We begin by assembling the most visionary creators at a secluded mountain retreat. Then we lock the gates, remove all distractions, and ply the lot with the best hallucinogens money can buy, boosting their creative powers beyond ordinary human limitations and into the transcendent. We push them until they're ready to collapse from exhaustion, but we don't let them sleep. Why not? Sleep deprivation brings a surreal edge to the material. Some don't survive but then you can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.
Creativity has a price.
We're willing to pay it.
No other comic book publisher pushes the limits like we do.
© James Turner 2008